Nine of Wands
Wanting to protect current status or accomplishments
Struggle resulting in victory
Hello again, friends and welcome back!
For today’s daily drawing, I was thinking of a specific situation in my own life when I went to pull a card. The one I pulled? The 9 of Wands. Since I’ve already written a post on it’s meaning, I wanted to share the interpretation as it related to my question.
When I pulled this card, I was thinking about the ex I spoke about in my last personal story (referred to then, and now, as X for simplicity.) As much as he’s hurt me, and as much as I feel a sense of betrayal from him, I never like to cut people out of my life. Other friends have expressed confusion as to why I still talk with and spend time with X, and my response has always been “Because I care about him.”
Today, though, I was bothered by the fact that sometimes X responds to me – friendly banter and quick texting exchanges – but, other times, he seems to ignore me. I was wondering a lot about why I’m trying to hold onto this friendship so much, why it irks me as much as it does, and whether or not we’ll ever truly be friends.
The card I pulled in reaction to all of these whirring thoughts was the 9 of Wands.
The 9 of Wands is all about feeling guarded and defensive, but also having an inner sense of strength and resilience.
When I see this card, I often think that the figure has been wounded and is left feeling hurt (as indicated by the bandage the figure wears wrapped around his head in most traditional decks), and that because of that lingering pain, they’re trying to protect what they have left.
The other thing I notice about the traditional deck card is that the figure is guarding themselves against an unseen enemy.
I take this to suggest that you’ve got your guard up when it doesn’t necessarily need to be. You’re defensive because you feel like you have to be defensive. It’s more out of habit than because of an actual threat.
If you notice, the figure in this deck is actively trying to keep something out. Other decks have a more passive figure (like the one above), but in all of them, the figure holds one wand while the other eight are arranged as if they are a fence.
These eight standing wands can represent your current achievements – they’re what you’re trying to protect.
As wands represent passion, energy, and drive, you can view these wands as representative of your accomplishments in a creative or emotional realm. In a relationship reading, this might symbolize the hurdles you’ve already overcome in your relationship.
In this particular drawing for myself, I asked why I was so upset about X and whether or not we would ever be friends.
I take the 9 of Wands to mean that I feel protective of this relationship because there is a history between us. I get defensive when those around me try and point out that he might not be the best person to have in my life – not necessarily because there’s anything to defend, but because I’ve grown accustomed to defending him (and my own choices.)
Since the standing wands represent achievements, I take it to mean that I feel as if I’ve had to struggle just to get to where I am with X.
After our initial breakup, he didn’t really want to talk to me or be in my life. It was not a good breakup and both of us needed some space from one another. Being the person I am, though, I reached out to him with an olive branch of sorts and offered forgiveness – in this way, I had to really try and fight to stay in his life. So, I’m feeling protective of that energy that I’ve already put forth.
Finally, the fact that there’s an unseen enemy might mean that I’m feeling protective of something that isn’t really there. I want to protect this “friendship,” and I’m fighting to do so, but in reality, he’s not really giving me much to hold on to.
Tarot Card Guidance
Normally, I don’t like doing yes/no readings, but part of my question was whether or not we’d ever truly be friends. The 9 of Wands is generally regarded as a No.
Additionally, the reason why I’m feeling so upset and hurt by him is because I feel like I’m struggling to protect something that he’s nonchalant about. I’m still in pain from the breakup, I’m still a bit sad about his betrayal, and I’m trying to prove to myself that this is going to be worth it.
This card seems to be telling me that I’m holding on too much to something that isn’t there. My takeaway here, then, is that I need to try and focus on the wand I have in my hand instead of the 8 wands I’ve invested. (In other words – focus on my current life and love instead of worrying about the energy I put into this friendship with X.)
It’s also a sign that I’m more resilient than I know, that my inner strength will carry me through. Ultimately, a pretty positive message to take forth.
Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts in the comments down below!